Monday, December 31, 2012

2012 Year End...

This year has been a roller coaster.  It started out with change (I changed jobs) and ended with frustration.  In the middle I managed to lose 60 lbs, fell in love with the gym, have fun with my family and learn to focus on me. 

However in the month of November my life hit a bit of a roadblock.  My Grandmother (actually I should call her my mom) had a stroke.  I sat by her bedside for almost two weeks while she slipped away.  On the day after Thanksgiving she passed and I have been engulfed in depression.  It sucks and I am struggling! I feel like I am back to square one again.  I know I can restart and push myself, I just have not figured out how.  At the end of my work day, instead of picking the kids up and going to the gym, I just want to pick up the kids and go home.  I want to lay on the coach and veg or sleep.  I have not slept well since November 13 and the exhaustion is making me short-tempered and crazy.  I have waves of extreme depression (sobbing, difficulty breathing with anxiety) followed by manic episodes where I can not relax.  So either I have been cleaning, or more often than not cooking.  Making baked goods in the middle of the night is never a good idea, especially if you are a stress eater!

So now, as the year is coming to a end, it is time to refocus and reach my goals.  I main goal for the year is to compete in 12 organized races this year.  Mostly running, but I will do a few cycling events and possibly a triathlon.  My first race is a 5k on New Years Day.  I figure I should start the year off with fitness and it will set the tone for the year.  Second, I will take care of my mental health, as it is greatly effecting my physical health.  Doctor's appointment is already made.  Third, I will refocus my diet and start tracking again using my fitness pal or lose it.  I am also going to cut the carbs and try to eliminate a lot of gluten too.  I have also been struggling with some lactose issues, so dairy is going to be limited as well.  I am hoping this will help to detox my body and get me feeling a little better.

Well, I am tired and the kids are making it hard to type!  (Niece, Nephew and Son are going crazy trying to stay up till midnight).  I hope you all have a blessed New Year!

- Chandra

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