Sabotaging myself

The weekend has come and gone and I am no closer to my goals.  If anything, I am actually at least a pound further away.  I need to exercise the same control over my weekend eating as I do during the week.  I have been diligent about planning my meals and writing everything down during the week but when it comes to the weekend I totally relax.  What happens when I relax?  I lose control.  I eat crap I don’t need! I eat too much!  I don’t drink enough water!  All of which lead to a gain on the scale.  This morning I did a quick scale hop and I was up almost two pounds!! NOT GOOD!!  I am so mad at myself right now!  I need to keep everything in check all the time it I truly want to lose this weight.  I am my own biggest enemy!  I am so tired of being fat and out of shape.  I don’t want to be the fat mom!  I want to be the fit mom that can run and play with her kids.  I don’t want to wear frumpy clothes and look like I am 4 months pregnant all the time.  I want to be sexy for my husband.  Right now I am a cow and I hate it!! 

I want to be successful!  I know that this is a long term project and I need to be patient with the process, but I must get in control and stay in control or the project will fail! No more sabotaging myself!

QOD – What do you do to stay in control?

Finally Friday!

Yeah it is Friday and the work week is ending!!  Today has been good so far, nothing to crazy and just enough work to keep me from going stir crazy.  Actually got some housework done this morning, so I actually felt productive before I even got into the office.  Also had my day made by the great barista (whose name is totally escaping me right now) at my regular haunt, besides greeting me with a smile, he complimented me on my hair.  Said it look great!  I cut it back in December to a much more manageable length (baby girl was pulling it out by the handful) and it is what I call my Rapunzel hair.  I love Rapunzel (my favorite Disney princess) and I absolutely adore her hair at the end of the movie after it is cut.  I know, everyone desire the long blond hair, not me!  I like it short and fun! 

As promised here is the recipe for the quick and easy microwave omelet I make each morning.

½ cup of Egg substitute

1 handful of baby spinach

3 mushrooms, chopped

1-2 tbs of chopped onion

2 tbs of chopped tomato

1 slice of Swiss Cheese (I use reduced fat)

Use a mug or bowl that will hold approximately 2 cups.  Spray the bowl with some pam and toss the spinach, mushrooms and onions in. 

Microwave for 1 minute.  Remove from microwave, stir and add the egg substitute. 

Return to Microwave for 1 minute.  Remove and stir again, top with tomatoes and cheese and microwave for another 30 -40 seconds. 

Remove from microwave and let stand for about a minute.  Enjoy!! 

This is approximately 130 calories. 

QOD - Who is your favorite princess (Disney or otherwise)?

On track...

Woohoo! My legs are not as sore as they have been.  Four days and I can finally go up and down the stairs without limping.  Now I just need to get the cardiovascular in check.  I am so winded when I get the top the four flights of stairs.  It is just plain embarrassing that I am this out of shape!  I know it will get better, slowly. 

I stayed completely on track with my food yesterday and actually had some calories left over.  I think the way I am starting my day may be helping my efforts. For the last couple of days for breakfast I have had a fabulous little microwave omelet.  I will post a recipe and pictures tomorrow.  Starting the day with a high fiber, high protein, and low carb meal is helping to keep my cravings in check.  I’ve been able to make it to noon before seeking a snack (which is yogurt or fruit and cheese).  Today I had my left over potato soup (another great low calorie, low fat recipe I created) for my snack and I am enjoying my Greek yogurt while I write this post.  BTW, Chobani Strawberry Banana Greek Yogurt is SUPER YUMMY!!!  Definitely a new favorite!

Now to keep moving on this healthy eating track and not let the weekend knock me off.

So what do you eat to start your day?

Mid-Way

So today day is Wednesday and I am midway through the week.  So far it has not been too bad.  Last night was pretty easy with the kids, stuck to the dinner plan (stayed under my allotted calories) and got to bed at a decent hour.  I did have to get up in the middle of the night to feed Ms. Maddy which translates to losing 1-2 hours of sleep.  I am dragging a little today, but so far everything has gone smoothly. 

I am still sore from taking the stairs, but I am not going to let it deter me.  Sore muscles are a good thing! 

Food thoughts for today – I love my Vanilla Almond Rooibos tea.  It is totally helping to kick some of my sugar cravings to the curb. I usually start searching for candy or chocolate in the late afternoon and since I have started drinking this tea that craving has subsided.  I do still need a little snack but now my fruit seems to be filling the spot just fine.  Before I would eat the fruit and then 20 minutes later I was still hungry and dying for something sweet.

So what do you do to combat cravings?

Monday's suck but coupons rock!

Yesterday was the start of a new week.  The first full week of being back at work and the kids being in daycare and pre-K.  The morning went pretty smoothly and I actually got to work on time.  During my lunch hour I did a little grocery shopping at my local Vons using coupons.  I am just venturing into the world of coupon shopping and so far it rocks!  Yesterday I was able to save 52% using my club card and coupons and everything I purchased was healthy items my family will eat with no problems.  On Sunday I did some grocery shopping at Target and was able to save 44% using coupons.  Other than buying some fruit, a loaf of bread and some milk (which I actually have some coupons for) we are stocked up for the next couple of weeks.  We are on a really tight budget so I have to make our food dollars stretch.

So back to my day, I finished out the work day and picked the kids up.  The drive home was a little on the stressful side because it was raining and apparently no one knows how to drive in the rain.  The drive home should have only taken 20 minutes max and instead it took about 35, all the while Maddy was screaming because she was hungry.  Finally got home around 6:15 and fed the baby.  Logan and I got to eat around 7:30 or so.  I am so grateful he is being patient with his baby sister and understands that she needs so much attention.  I didn’t make the best food choice, I ended up finishing off some tortilla chips and queso but I didn’t go over my allotted calories either.  I was just so tired from not getting any sleep the night before that I just grabbed what I could make in about 30 seconds.  We crawled into bed around 10 pm.

This morning was chaos! Woke up really late and only had about 30 minutes to get everyone ready and out the door.  We made it!  Thankfully I have easy lunch/snack items stored in the fridge and I was able to pull something together in about 1 minute while my coffee was brewing.  Today I had a Trader Joes Greek Salad (140 cal), apple, string cheese, and non-fat strawberry yogurt.  I grabbed breakfast at Starbucks (using a gift card) since I was starving after I dropped the kids off (a veggie breakfast sandwich (350 cal) and skinny mocha (110 cal)).  Tonight Logan and I will have tacos from the leftovers from Sunday night’s dinner. 

On an exercise note – my legs are sore from taking the stairs!  I am glad to finally be moving a little more.  I will get some more exercise tonight since I have to clean house a little and I always burn a few calories doing that. J

Blogging note – in reading some of my favorite blogs I noticed that many post a question at the end so I think I will too.  I hope it will lead to some new information, insight, encouragement and new friendships. 

So do you use coupons? Any fabulous deals as a result of using them?

Weekends=Stress :(

This past weekend was tough.  I had ambitious plans to get a lot done, but when it was over, nothing was really done.  I really need to find some balance between taking care of the house, kids and relaxing.   My week days are packed with work all day and taking care of the kids in the evenings, which leaves me exhausted and climbing into bed around 10 pm most nights.  Thus, I have a desire to save up all the house work and major errands for the weekend, but this is not good either.  The kids and I only get to see my husband on the weekends so who wants to spend that time working when it should be a fun relaxing time.  So going back to this past weekend, spent too much time doing nothing really and as a result I returned to work this morning, completely stressed and feeling overwhelmed with the work I need to do at home.  I think I need to plan out my week better and use my lunch hour to run errands and grocery shop.  I get so much more done when I am by myself.  I really do love my family, but they really slow me down when trying to get things done.   Between baby girl requiring almost constant attention, the 5 year old who needs attention and constantly interrupts me to get that attention and my husband who needs helps with practically everything involving the house or the kids, I am left with my head spinning and nothing getting done.   I want to spend time with my family doing fun things, not resenting them because I am left with all the housework and errands to do all weekend.

Then to compound the weekend issues, I overate and ate crap all weekend.  Not the thing to do when trying to lose weight!  I ideally would like to lose two pounds a week but that will not happen if I eat pizza, cake and drink alcohol on the weekends.  But the past is the past and now it is time to move forward.

This morning I am back on track with my food and even got a little exercise in.  For breakfast I had an egg mug omelet and a large cup of decaf coffee with a little nonfat creamer.  I also packed my lunch and snacks (TJ Southwest salad, apple, almonds, Greek black cherry yogurt and string cheese).  I also took the stairs when I got to the office this morning.  I was totally winded after 4 floors of stairs.  I didn’t realize I had gotten that out of shape.  I will be taking the stairs exclusively! No more elevators for me.

First Week Back At Work - New Routines

On Wednesday, January 18^th I returned to work after being out on maternity leave for 12 weeks.  First, let me point out that it really, really sucks to go back to work and leave me sweet little baby in the care of someone else!  On the upside, I really like the location I choose to watch and teach my children. I hope this will alleviate some of my stress.

Second, my morning routine is going to be a balancing act.  I have to get myself up and ready, get Logan up and ready, and then get Madelyn up and ready. I have to make sure everyone is fed, school and work bags packed, drive half-way across town to drop the kids off at daycare and pre-K, then get myself to work by 9 am.  I have to leave my house by 8 am to get to work on time.  Of course I want to maximize my sleep because I am still getting up in the middle of the night to feed a baby so the earliest I can tolerate dragging out of bed is 6 am.  So far I think this schedule will work for us, however I definitely need to utilize some preplanning the night before to make sure it all goes smoothly.

Third, my job can be extremely stressful at times and at other times, very boring.  Both instances send me searching for food! I could easily sit at my desk and consume a day’s worth of calories in just a few hours, make that a few minutes!  To end this vicious cycle of eating (and to save money) I am packing my own lunch and snacks. 

Lastly, our evening routine will hopefully be the easiest part of the day.  We do not get home until 6 pm and everyone is starving by then so the challenge will be making sure that I am prepared to make quick and healthy meals for us.  It is so easy to just stop and get fast food on the way home, but my huge butt and empty check account can attest that this is not the best idea!

The next challenge will be working some real exercise into this schedule.

So far the first three days back at work have gone pretty smoothly and the routine seems to be working.  Hopefully it will get easier as time goes by.

Now that I am almost caught up on getting this blog going, I hope to post at least once a day.

Back Story

Welcome to my blog! This is my little place on the web were I will share my successes and since I am being honest, sometimes failures in my journey to lose weight. 

Here is the background on my struggle and where I am today.  I have been struggling with my weight since about 1998.  At first I it was just a few pounds creeping on, then in about 2000 I started gaining pretty steadily and by 2004 I was up to 242 pounds and miserable. To put this into perspective, when I graduated high school in 1996 I was around 130 and really fit.   In 2004 I joined Weight Watchers (WW) for the first time.  I had big plans to lose the weight before my wedding that November.   When November rolled around I had lost about 25 pounds.  Yeah, I had lost some weight but I was not successful in my own eyes.  I really failed at working the program.  I would get lazy and not track my food (points) and what happens...you gain weight.  So this was pretty much my MO for the next few years, I would gain and lose the same 20-25 pounds following the WW plan intermittently.  In mid-2006 I became pregnant with my first child and thankfully I only gained about 15 pounds during the entire pregnancy.  Needless to say I was back down to my pre-pregnancy weight (230lbs) within a week or so of having Logan.  So I continued with WW, still gaining and losing the same amount of weight and not really getting anywhere with my goal. 

In 2008 I had by heart broken by a person I thought was a friend and that rejection spurred me into action to stop messing with the scale and actually try to get fit again. I had always wanted to do an endurance event, so I signed up with Team-in-Training to do the Nike Women’s Marathon in October of that year.  I trained and successfully completed the half-Marathon.  I loved my experience and have gone on to do three more half-Marathons since then.  I have also trained with Team for Century Bike ride and have become a pretty good cyclist. (My husband would disagree because I had a freak accident in which I broke my ankle in three places and a couple of other crashes one of which left me with a concussion and some pretty knarly road rash.  But I figure that if Lance Armstrong can crash from time to time, then so can I!)  So from 2008 through early 2011 I was pretty active training for events, going to the gym or doing some local fitness boot camps which helped to keep my weight in check and at one point I was down to 212 pounds.  I even started the P90x program and had completed the first 4 weeks when I found out I was pregnant.  Since pregnancy is difficult and risky for me I decided to take a break from all the exercise and concentrate on having a healthy pregnancy.  In October of 2011 I gave birth to a sweet baby girl.  Over the course of the pregnancy I gained about 55 pounds and reached my highest weight ever of 272 pounds!!  I just about fainted when I saw the scale hit that number.  Within a few weeks of having Madelyn I had lost 30 pounds and was back on track.  I rejoined WW and was ready to tackle this weight once and for all.  Then the holiday’s hit.

I made it through the holidays pretty much unscathed by the scale, but financial issues hit hard instead.  So instead of going back to the gym and continuing with WW, I have had to cancel both memberships to help save money.  I decided that I am not going to let money issues stop me, I am going to do this on my own (with the support of family and friends) without paying for programs and memberships.

So here I am today...242.6 pounds and ready to kick these pounds to the curb!!  I will be utilizing a free app call LoseIt to track my calories and exercise every day to help keep me on track and moving toward my ultimate goal of 140 pounds.  I want and need to lose 102.6 pounds!  I will be setting smaller goals along the way to help keep me from getting discouraged and to keep the whole process in perspective.

I know it is crazy but I would like to lose the majority of this weight before my 35^th birthday on December 5, 2012.  Another goal I have is to compete in a triathlon before I turn 35. 

So that was by back story and from this point forward please check back regularly to read the Chronicles of the Shrinking Diva!